DATING: ARE YOU THE PURSUER OR THE PURSUED? 10 Areas of Life Where Pursuit Matters

 In Dating

While writing this I’m praying to see my Mr. Right appear on the horizon and arrive in my life at any moment. Yet, there are times when I felt like I was moving at a snail’s pace with crippled thoughts and lame self-worth.

I’ve gotten so fixated on having a relationship I reacted out of anxiety.

Sometimes you feel like the world is cheering: “Be more aggressive!” “Amp up your sex appeal!” “Get who you want by ANY means necessary!”

In spite of the rhetoric, it’s good to know where you stand.

When it comes to dating are you the pursuer?

Or do you respond to the pursuit of a man? 

Test yourself below and see.

AREAS OF LIFE THE PURSUER THE PURSUED
Void Fillers Believes a man will be the quick fix she needs to really start living and being loved. Constantly creating wonders in her purpose and maximizing opportunities to fulfill her destiny. Superman will add love, not a reason to live!
Positioning Searches for the right man in the wrong places or places where men are more apt to look for quickness vs. quality. Considers a man’s character worthy of her commitment and positions herself to be in the company of Supermen who are looking to commit.
Marriage Tries to rush past the process to get to the promise ASAP. Takes her time to develop trust. She knows it, but allows him to conclude she’s worth a lifetime promise of wedded bliss.
Respecting Time Ready to drop plans quickly and is always on standby for his call. Rarely ever says “No” to him. Keeps a schedule. Knows when to indulge in spontaneity yet how to politely reject “last minute, last resort” requests given on a whim.
Holdups, Breakups Believes each guy is her last chance for love. Therefore she’s more apt to cling to chaos due to fearing the unknown. Understands some guys are good, but not cut out to be her Superman. Therefore she’s not afraid to say hello OR goodbye.
Trust Micromanages him and keeps a relationship under a microscope. Relationship 1st, life 2nd. Stays in motion. A relationship is an addition to life not an activator of it. Balances quality time and space laced with trust.
Assessment Continually asks for verbal guarantees and reassurances about the relationship status. Knows how to have heart-to-heart convos and look at actions to conclude the sincerity and growth of the relationship.
People & Priorities Abandons family, friends, and backs out of obligations she agreed to fulfill, to focus solely on him. Still stays in close contact with her support system. She makes good on her promises and garners even more admiration from him.
Standards Possesses standards that are on extremes of the spectrum (i.e. They are either too insignificant or entirely too hard to attain.) Knows and retains standards that are well thought out and complimentary to her life. But they’re also attainable for a man who’s not afraid of effort and sacrifice.
Treatment Sweeps disrespect, abuse, and hindrances under the rug for his “love.” Recognizes when she deserves better. Fearless in voicing her opinions, disappointments, and what she will not tolerate.

Brownie Point:

“It may be the title for a game…but in regards to love

life, PURSUIT AIN’T TRIVIAL.”

Relationship guru Eric Charles says, “’I know all sorts of chasers who say, ‘I just want him to love me! This is so unfair; I can’t believe men are like this.’ Meanwhile, from the guy’s perspective, she transforms from the fun-loving, easy-to-be-around woman into Gollum from “The Lord of the Rings.”’

Remember you deserve to be pursued. You can have the joy of knowing a man is sincerely interested in commitment to you. Going overboard to pursue him only robs you of time, energy, and perhaps a great man…who could very well be Mr. Right!

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