5 WAYS TO SPOT THE MEN VS. THE BOYS – PART 1

 In Dating, Men, Relationships

At first glance, you may smitten to the max. Great looks. Nice smile. Stylish clothes. And mad swag. I know a guy’s charm is what gets our attention first. It’s hard to deny and look beyond it. But make no mistake about it. It’s never wise to mix up a real man who’s ready for commitment…with a guy who looks grown but lives with a boyish mentality! Check out this quick reference list so you can pinpoint their differences.

1. GOALS.

• A Boy: He is lackadaisical about what’s next. He brags about what he’ll have “one day” but puts no/little efforts behind his words. Goals tie him to accountability which threatens his way of life…one without discipline and focus.

• A Man: He intentionally moves from A to B. He works on personal and team-oriented goals. He doesn’t expect for life to just hand him achievement. He constantly evolving and fulfills his hunter instinct by seeking, pursuing, and attaining…in life and with Ms. Right.

2. REPUTATION.

• A Boy: In a relationship, he can cheat, lie, abuse, abandon, manipulate, and/or steal while not thinking twice about consequences. His rep is not viewed as a trophy to keep on top-shelf status. His character is more self-centered vs. being selfless.

• A Man: He’s not perfect, but has a good name. Before initiating or retaliating, he considers the outcome. Deep inside he wants to commit to a woman who will bring added honor to his rep. He’ll listen to a woman who helps him in rep quality control.

3. FAITHFULNESS.

• A Boy: He plays with hearts as if they’re video games. Once he gets a quick fix, he puts them down and seeks pleasure elsewhere. He’ll says he will be committed only to satisfy the one asking for it. His eyes wander faster than lightning can strike, even while he’s your side! At times he may juggle several women to fulfill multiple voids in his life (i.e. sexual, emotional, spiritual, physical, and financial). There’s no shame in his game…which is more so “fakefulness” vs. faithfulness.

• A Man: He’s through with the games and quick teases. Now he’s looking for a mate who also wants consistent closeness. He speaks about who he loves and shows his loyalty. And he’s willing to step up and put “attractions and distractions” in their place to further prove he is faithful.

4. COURAGE.

• A Boy: He normally shies away from responsibility. And when faced with a challenge, he ducks his tail or passes the blame. He lacks compassion to stand up for someone else, even if he didn’t initiate the crisis. He may talks about what works best, but he isn’t willing to take action to pacify the situation.

• A Man: When he sees a fire needs to be put out, you can count on him. If he’s to blame, he will man up and deal with the consequences. He’ll defend someone else’s honor and stands against mistreatment.

5. PLANNING.

• A Boy: He fails to plan and therefore plans to fail. He’s notorious for beating around the bush and evades answers when concrete direction is needed to be taken. He denies his responsibility and relies on others to carry his weight…but wants credit when the plan comes together.

• A Man: He’s not just a talker but a doer. He’s a leader who understands that plans don’t magically appear but must be worked on. He’s humble enough to follow steps for a favored outcome and can take directions from other people. It’s a collective celebration when plans work out great! Be on the lookout for more ways to distinguish a man vs. a boy in the next blog!

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