MEN: FEELING HIM. FILING HIM.

 In Dating, Men, Relationships

You’ve been at work and filed paperwork in its proper place. Not out of the ordinary right? But when you start feeling a guy, you may get so caught up that you neglect to file him. Or you just flat out put him in the wrong file.

No, not locking him down in a lateral file and wearing the key around your neck until he’s ready to commit. (Imagine if this was possible, can’t blame a girl for dreaming.)

I’m talking about putting him in a category so that your heart is protected. You’re not putting life on hold just for him respond to your “I like you” hints. You’re not misleading him when there’s absolutely no romantic attraction there. And you’re not overstepping boundaries…and neither is he.

Yes the balance of feelings and filings.

So what file does he truly belong in?
Are you confident enough to place him in the right file…of your heart and mind without getting wires crossed?

FILE HIM UNDER C.I.A. (3 files to choose from):
1. C
OMPANION
Traits:
 Likes to hang out
 Shares common interests
 Fun to be with
 Fills voids of loneliness

Kicker: He may speak of relationships, but not sharing one…with you.
Alerts: Companions like to hang out without caring if your heart is in it. Spending too much time together can make you believe there’s a romantic connection forming. This can be in person, calling, texting, and constantly communicating over social media.

In Relationships, Dr. Pamela Reeves states, “Companions, generally spend less than two hours together a week. When a man indicates he would like to see the woman more than that, but claims they are “just friends,” he sends a mixed message.”

2. INTIMATE FRIEND
Traits:
 Initiates intimate communication and QT to get to know you
 Enjoys being close to you
 Spends QT with you on a regular basis
 Shows “he’s your man” in private and public
 Cares about your trust in him

Kicker: He does speak of sharing a relationship and long term plans/goals that include you often.
Alerts: Companions like to hang out without caring if your heart is in it. Spending too much time together can make you believe there’s a romantic connection forming. This can be in person, calling, texting, and constantly communicating over social media.
3. ASSOCIATE

Traits:
 Occasionally see each other
 May ask for your number
 Shares mutual friends
 Communicates when there’s a specific need or a general group text/email/DM
 Enjoys quick moments and makes fast memories
Kicker: He may flirt, he may compliment…but doesn’t say or do anything substantial afterward to make his syllables stick.
Alerts: If you’re vulnerable/needy, you can start believing an associate’s flirts could move him into a companion status. But beware, passing promises can tickle your ears but don’t equate to authentic BF or husband material.

Overall, decency and order go a long way…especially when you’re filing men! You don’t want to end up with the short end of the stick. It’s not fair getting the benefits of a relationship…and yet not being in a solidified relationship.

BROWNIE POINT:
You don’t want to believe you’re riding together on Lovers Lane
only to pull up and see a “No Parking Here” sign around his heart.

Move beyond just feeling him. Loot at facts and file appropriately. This will help you to avoid unnecessary pressure, awkwardness, or unfair expectations among each other.  If you know where he stands regarding you, you’ll enjoy freedom to live in that respective space, whether he’s a C. I. or an A.

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